Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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