I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
