I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have aggressive nipples.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
