I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
