you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
