So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
