good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
