one might say we're banned from that church
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
