Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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