If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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