Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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