she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
