batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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