So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just had sex bonerless
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
