my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize