Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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