hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
