If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
