You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
