I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
