Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
well you can't waste a boner
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
