There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
How external is "for external use only"?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize