You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
