If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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