after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
