Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
