I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
