i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
