I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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