My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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