After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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