In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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