i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
