just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
