I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize