You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
