doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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