Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
