The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
