glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
