I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize