how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize