So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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