Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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