Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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