flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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