I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
