and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
