If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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