maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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