just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
