she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
