if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
