My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
