My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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