they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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