You can't motorboat a personality
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
