Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
