I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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