names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
