oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Operation Purity has been aborted
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
