She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
