oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
