Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
