Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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